In my introductory episode of my new podcast I used a scene from the film Swingers. It’s Jon Favreau leaving a voice mail to a girl - we soon come to find out - of his dreams.

At the moment, I’m not focusing on what transpires after this scene. What I’m focusing on is the # of times Jon’s character rings back the girl to continue, course correct, apologize, + suggest that what he’s feeling isn’t very much at all, although it is clear to everyone (but him) that bc of the way he’s leaving his message, she has a profound affect on him + his confidence.
.
I remember leaving voice mails. At best, the operator lady would cut me off providing me w/opportunities to ERASE, RE-RECORD, CONTINUE RECORDING, or LEAVE THIS MESSAGE.
.
I thought: damn, how brave. How brave to record something with MY VOICE in the gamble of voice mails which didn’t always allow for options to save face.
.
Nowadays, I’ll craft up my texts + emails, proof-reading, restructuring, sharing before finalizing, before I even think about sending a response. Classic voicemails? Forget about it. Voice Notes? Well, they too provide the option to ERASE (although they leave traces that it’s been deleted).
.
I don’t know what’s better: getting used to the anxiety and/or battling through it to leave something authentically you, or, to have the tools to curate every single response.
.
I suppose I don’t have an answer. All I know is that when an older friend of mine told me of the amount of COURAGE it used to take for him to go on a date:
— call the girl at home, pray to god her dad doesn’t answer, set a date + a time, wash car, pick up flowers, put gas in car, make sure dressed appropriately, walk up the seemingly 10 mile driveway to ring the doorbell, pray to god once more that the dad doesn’t open the door, sit in the living room with said parent while the girl finishes getting dressed, walk out w/girl, pray to god the evening goes well as you’ll have to drive the girl home one way or the other -
I think, my hero!
.
He and She.
.
I always try to lean more into the Unknown, Scary, Uncomfortable, Vulnerable..so, I’m going to say: my AUTHENTICITY is more important than my perfectly, curated Self.