28. LAUREN HARKNESS | On Sexuality in Modern Times, Communicating Intimacy, + Controversy of #MeToo
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“You’re not wrong or broken and there’s no better time than whenever you start your sexual practices, to start. It could be at 89. It could be at 23. Every moment is perfect and the more you surrender to that - that every moment is perfect and exactly where I am is perfect - then the next thing can come.”
HERE's the known.
I first encountered Lauren Harkness at a beautiful space in Brooklyn, New York while in attendance for a Conscious Sexuality Workshop produced by the Goddess Institute. On brand with my personal workshops - IN THE UNKNOWN - I had no idea what to expect. I arrived open and willing to listen and to learn.
I have always been skeptical of sexuality in the form it takes in a female’s body because I had to learn about through personal trial and error, and without much education and/or guidance. Sex had always been a controversial topic in my world. It was not talked about in my childhood and it wasn’t fully explored or understood in my young adulthood. It is only of recent in the process of me reclaiming my life, my spirit and my body that I’ve begun to fully understand the complexity of female sexuality. Conscious Sexuality, that is, being aware (and conscious) of what it means to be a sexual female.
In the two hour workshop, I found myself deeply engaged with the stories women shared — even I raised my hand to tell my story. —but what truly piqued my interest was Lauren and her ability to lead, guide, and teach an exceptionally difficult subject matter and human experience, in the most comprehendible, non-judgmental, and seamless way. Within minutes of opening her mouth the room became a safe space. There was a total and tangible connectivity amidst a group of total strangers. On top of this connection, Lauren was able to articulate and heal our collective insecurities and fears in the world of female sexuality by normalizing that which hadn’t felt “normal” before, and backing it up with her experience and education.
I walked out of there with my mind swirling. How did I define conscious sexuality? What did it mean to me? What was the difference between seduction and sexuality? What is intimacy? What kind of partner do I want and what kind of partner do I want to be? Am I looking for monogamy or polyamory? And what if my mind changes? How do I step out of numbness to feeling? And how do I stand in my sexual power without it being stripped, abused, manipulated or taken away from me?
These are all the questions that I pondered while I waited for the day that I could sit in conversation with Lauren. After all, this is done IN THE UNKNOWN, and so I was not able to research and formulate any predispositions. I wanted to be wholly and fully present in whatever it was that surfaced in our time together. Luckily for me, all of these questions came up and Lauren answered them so beautifully, gently, and full of wisdom.
You’ll learn a lot about conscious sexuality, intimacy (both personal and interpersonal), sexual energy, communication in relationship, female empowerment, re-wiring our societal and primal desires and needs. We touch on the controversy and missed opportunities within the #metoo movement. And most importantly, we talk about the unknown’s within Lauren’s world which she ties neatly together to her own definition of what it means to be a conscious (sexual) female. This one’s a must-listen.
HERE are LAUREN’S UNKNOWNs.
I’m going through the ending of a partnership, a romantic relationship with my business partner. We have had a beautiful, tumultuous relationship over the last five years. I’m in the unknown of what’s next for us professionally and us together. We want to write a book together and we teach together but we’re both pretty certain that as a romantic partner, we love each other so much but we aren’t aligned in what we want for our future.
I’ve wanted to have a baby for probably about ten years and my personal karma is that I have attracted two long term partners who don’t want children. I’ve been seeing a fertility doctor to get all my hormones tested and to make sure that I can carry a child. The unknown is: am I going to have a child as a modern woman who doesn’t have a partner? Am I going to do IUI? Am I going to visit California Cryobank online?
Being a business owner you’re always in a state of the unknown. There’s always the next mountain peak to climb,
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photo by Mel Blanchard
“Right now my deepest desire is to be of the most service through my work in this world and my purpose which is conscious sexuality and healing. I think that I often still feel the judgment of others and so my desire is to have the courage to stand and to share without fear. To feel the strength of my own character in bringing this to a larger scope.”
CONNECt:
INSTAGRAM: @sensualalchemistress
FACEBOOK: @lauren.harkness.12
WEBSITE
Source Tantra
https://www.radiantecstasy.com/
