“Love this pic because it speaks of your journey to this place...so cool that you are more and more in love with your body. God has made you beautiful!” - my friend sent me this when I posted this picture to my story.
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My first reaction was pure horror. Me? In love with MY body. Am I? Do I? Could it be? Should I? Wait - is this a lovable body? Does it matter? Am I full of myself for loving my body? Could it really be that I do love my body? Am I see-through? Should I layer up! Ughh 🥴🥴 I felt nauseous. I began to break my inner-tape down.
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Well, I love my body for working. For healing. For breathing. For being. For waking me up every day, and for falling asleep every evening. I love my body for walking, carrying me, balancing me, stabilizing me. I love my body for bending + twisting + yoga-ing. I love my body for finding connection between my heart + my head. I love my body for feeding my brain + my organs. I love my body for menstruating on a monthly basis (even though it’s never fun). I love my body for feeling heat, cold, goosebumps, the wind, the sea. I love my body for dancing. I love my body for hugging + snuggling + holding hands + touching + kissing. I love my body for its moles + freckles + battle scars + mended broken bones. I love my body for calming me in moments of panic. I love my body for battling through colds. I love my body bc it’s strong (for me). I love my body bc it’s me. I love my body. I love me.
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I suppose I am more + more in love w/my body. In the “right” ways. Surely, in the HEALTHY ways; that actually MATTER in order to live a FULL life. But of course “BEAUTY” is usually used in the context of being pleasing to the eyes. The OUTSIDE. This part will take much longer for me to accept. I suppose finding the Love Within Self will eventually blend into the Love OF Self, which includes the mix of inside AND out. Baby steps.
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For now I must thank @tcholdridge for gifting me my moment of discomfort through which I had to move in order to get to the other side, for seeing beyond the surface of this picture, + for reminding me of my truths: there is always work to be done in the realm of self-acceptance. Thank you for my Mirror 💛