On the inner-side of my right wrist I have a small tattoo.
It's of a pair of folded up glasses. Myself being a four-eyed child, I was never proud of my being a nerd. Contacts were a blessing. As was makeup, clothes and heels. At a certain point, I ran from my nerdy-ness, my desire of knowledge and my brain.
When I entered into the world of hosting and broadcasting I realized that my physical appearance was both a pro and a con. A pro because it gave me attention. A con because it gave me attention.
The suggestions varied: too cerebral, more bubbly, less thought-provoking, shorter skirt, but no high heel, smile more, maybe try glasses? Be nice but not too flirty. NOTHING was satisfying. Nothing was right.
What I knew is that the more subdued me - less makeup, hair, bubbly, nice - the less unnecessary attention garnered from men. THAT was a plus. A savior. Women in locker-rooms - I'll save that for another time.
I battled with this constantly wondering if I'd ever strike a happy medium. I got my tattoo - intelligence over beauty - thinking I'd rather be smart than someone interesting purely based on my looks. Well, you know how that story ends - stripping myself of my femininity and my body close to a point of no return. Oh the world of media. Just one small piece to this very large + complicated puzzle.
I bought myself a one-way ticket and I declared, to hell with my career. This picture is a week after I arrived in LA. I walked to this beautiful store for the sole purpose of trying on feminine dresses. I was curious. I wondered- What would it be like? To choose to be my kind of woman? To wear it proudly? Would I like it? Would I remember myself? I'll admit. It felt strange. But so does every first step in any new direction, especially when it leads back to your core.
Today my tattoo stands for intelligence AND beauty because who's to say I can't wear them both proudly 👊🏼. Stick to your Truth. Don't let them change you.
