Today, my parents celebrate 33 years of marriage. 33. A year older than my existence. What am I to say about that?
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I’m not sure. At the moment (in my personal life) I am deconstructing + piecing back together what I believe to be a solid relationship. What is MY definition of it? It’s a trial + error sort of thing. Trying on one thing, tossing out another, keeping that which feels right. Like, communication. Transparency. Boundaries. Individuality. Yes, a sort of something which holds together the foundation on which two people stand. Never as one, but alongside as they walk through life together.
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I believe it’s a walk, a dance even, that we do as we grow + evolve. Separately + as a couple. At times, through turbulence + pain + misunderstanding + tears. There are highs, yes. But there are lows. There are fears to overcome; both individually + together. There is vulnerability. Staying open when all you want to do is close. There are the very, very difficult conversations; losses, deaths, arguments, compromises. There is building things together; businesses, friends, family, projects, kids, closeness. There is challenging the other, gently. Mirroring - upholding a reflection without pointing blame or shaming. There are the moment(s) when you look at the other + wonder how you ended up here in the first place + where the magic has gone, wondering if it will ever return. And within there is the opportunity to re-flame or to sweep out the ashes as you part ways.
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There are so many different ways. But 33. Those are very many years of working hard to stay together. For better or for worse? It’s not for me to decide, analyze or judge. Their relationship, not mine. But what I can pinpoint is their CHOICE to REMAIN, to COMMIT, to not only hold hands but have their fingers intertwine. Lightly. Just tight enough so that the air passes through, leaving no traces of perspiration. They don’t cling. Nor attach. They just are.
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Thank you for inspiring + re-inspiring, Elena + Igor. 33, no matter where it leads, is a number for Love Champions 💛