The most peculiar observation I’ve made thus far on my new life in Moscow has been the interaction between myself and Men.
.
Men are a different animal in Moscow. Men are a different animal, period, but here, from what I’ve experienced so far, Moscow Men are an entirely different species. Perhaps it’s me. I do understand that I stand out + sparkle. I’m different. I’m not quiet. I have opinions. I interrupt (although technically speaking it’s not interrupting, it’s what we would call having a conversation, ie; going back n forth). I sometimes stare intensely, sitting in my silence as I wait for the words I’d like to share to surface. I call out their bullshit. I mirror their behaviors. I am not scared. I do all the things that Women are not supposed to do. The difference? Because I’m not “svoya” or, our own, I get a pass. “Ah! She grew up in the states. She just doesn’t get it yet. She will,” they say. But they don’t know me.
.
The problem is, or perhaps, the thing here is that I am not about to change. Certainly I’m reflective on my behaviors, questioning whether ‘who I am is innate’ vs. ‘who I am as a product of my environment’. But, being KIND, CURIOUS, ENGAGING, + admittedly wrong or right, doesn’t seem to be a nurture thing. In fact, I’m positive it’s nature ie; it’s deeply seeded in me.
.
This is cause for concern as I continue to navigate my way in this Moscow World of Men. ME, is not meant for this world. Especially as I sit in business meetings, opposite coaching clients, or while pitching show concepts that I’m trying to host + produce. I’m not even mentioning dating (yet). That’s a post for another time.
.
It’s a concern bc it’s uncharted territory for me. How do I stand in My Truth when my Truth is seemingly foreign + not needed? Long story, short. I’ll be writing about this much more candidly on my blog in the coming days. So, go catch up on all my other entries on my “move to Russia” so that we’re on the same page.