During yesterday’s UF CIRCLE I asked everyone to write down thoughts, feelings, descriptions, and joyful memories from their childhood. The smallest, tiniest things that vibrate at their Core. As I wrote my list with the many wonderful things I believe I possess in my Core, one stood out boldly. I wrote SMILING.
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Somewhere along the way with the eating disorder, the many moves, the not enough, the too much, the too big, the too skinny, the not sexy enough, the body shaming and objectifying, the too flirty, the too needy, the not feminine enough, the you ask too many questions, the be more like the boys, the act like a proper girl, the why aren’t you married yet, the don’t you want to have kids, the why have you been single for so long, the too cerebral, the you have to play games with men, the don’t lay out all your cards, the you’re too opinionated, the your mind scares men away, the you shouldn’t sleep with him, the you should sleep with him, the you can’t trust women, the you need to be nicer to women, the do this so you can get that in return...the list goes on and on and on.
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With all of this circling around me, sticking to me, seeping into my belief system, I forgot the many great things about me, hidden deep in my Core. I’m not the only one. We’re all great at stifling our inner-child. No more. I’m starting with SMILING. The kid in this picture? She deserves to smile more.
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p.s. @thedianalarionov should we talk about what’s going on with you?